Awake (2022)

for Symphony Orchestra

Duration

ca 9 minutes

Instrumentation

2 Flutes (2nd doubling Piccolo)
2 Oboes (2nd doubling English Horn)

2 Clarinets in Bb (2nd doubling Bass Clarinet in Bb ) 2 Bassoons (2nd doubling Contrabassoon)

4 Horns in F
2 Trumpets in C (mute: straight mute) 2 Trombones
Bass Trombone
Tuba

Timpani

Percussion (one player) - Tam-tam
- Snare Drum
- Vibraphone

- Bass Drum
- Suspended Cymbal

Strings

Premiere

2022-05-25
Concert Hall, Helsingborg Helsingborg Symphony Orchestra Samuli Örnströmer, conductor

Painting by my father Lars-Eric Blomberg.

Program note

Undressed on a hospital bed and goosebumps on my skin. A white figure is talking but I' m on my way away. Sentences spin more slowly with each passing day. Blurred thoughts are mixed with clear thoughts.

I’ ve forgotten how to laugh.
Once, I got a card from my teacher that said " Never stop laughing? " . It cannot be me. I' m not laughing anymore.
I want to laugh. Why can’t I?

This piece is about mental illness. About living with the illness and the brain ghosts. About learning to live with them and hoping to get well one day.

Lyrics that are whispered in the piece

” Awake. Why are you awake? You need to sleep. Sleep. Sleep. You have to fall asleep now”